Existence

By Gian Gutierrez

I have this feeling of losing again, I failed again this time
I think I’m fading from nowhere, I think I should stop living this life
Why does everything in me is so imperfect? Why they can’t love me in that way?
Why do people can’t see the real me? Why do this world is so unfair?

I tried everything just to be seen, tried everything to be cared
Tried to be good to have your attention, tried everything to befriend
I tried to be the best in everything so that you could be proud
I even tried to sacrifice my life so I could felt I was loved

I am weak, still I am lost, and still I haven’t found my path
I like to draw but I don’t have the hands to paint that beautiful life
I love to sing but still don’t have the voice that everyone would love to hear
I like to write an endless poem but no one would care ’bout this dream

As I’m writing these words, I can’t help but to cry
I know this time God is angry with me ’cause ’til now I was blinded by my eyes
I know He has been telling me so many times that I should stand and stay strong
There are so many beautiful things that can’t be seen and it’s alright for me to go wrong

These rhyming words in every line are my life, my heart, my soul
Every ending, it’s significant feeling will always be a part of my whole
The endless print of my undying words will always be here to stay
All will be enough just to feel He cared that is my constant pray

As I am writing in this part, I suddenly realized
That I should stop crying myself, I should now dry my eyes
For there will always be tomorrow to restart a brand new day
To continue all that I’ve stopped believing in, to continue to walk with His way

I have sent all my worries, lifted it all above the sky
You won’t ever see me crying again, my soul will never die
I know God will always be here, I know He wanted me to go back
To where my life has used to be, I got to feel my existence back.

*Photo by @ergpearce’s Instagram

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