By Gian Gutierrez
There were nights inside these walls I sleep in tears
Questioning why am I living, for what do I exist?
They say all I am is not what should it be
Who I am is wrong and I cannot be freed
I lay myself crying again behind these walls
They keep pushing me on trying, they wanted me to be like all
Helplessly I pretended that I am standing on their side
But I cannot be happy, I am turning black and white
I struggled to be like them and I was caught in the middle
I have been pushed, bullied and I found my self little
I am not like who they are and I know I will never be
Why they cannot it understand? Why they cannot see?
I started to live my life alone, away from creatures called people
They always make everything complicated when at the first place it’s just simple
I hide myself away in obscure place where no one will find
Where I will be safe and no expectations that I will mind
I grew numb about hatred, being an outcast, and about pain
I’m living my life in silence and being nonchalant I am trained
I walk alone by myself and I didn’t even care
Better be off alone than with someone who won’t even stay
They tortured me, they punished me not in my flesh but deep inside
Not using a knife nor a needle work but it can diminish a life
My soul is really hurt and they’re leaving me half-heartedly
Their fatal words were lingering, I am bleeding unendingly
Why they are all treating me like I was never ever been belonged?
Is it ’cause I’m living differently and I am never like them at all?
How come I became any less when I am capable of doing more?
They’re judging me based on their ignorance, they’re judging me on what they do not know
I suffered, I have been bruised and yes, I cried
And yet these walls remain silent standing right at my side
It became my witness of all my heartbreaks, of how my tears burned me
It listened on my inner madness, it saved every pieces of me
Like these walls I’ll be standing tough and high
I’ll be strong, you won’t hear any from me, you’ll never see me die
I’ll stay colored, graceful and I will make you realize
I am the most beautiful flower, my days will be immortalized
I may be destroyed, manipulated, grew up confused
I am who I am, to stay the same I will choose
I can show you I can be the greatest, and everyone will be amused
You can insist that I should be someone else, but I’ll fight, I’ll refuse.